I am team Federer for GOAT: on this Swiss hill, I will die. HOWEVER We are in Mallorca and, as everyone knows, Rafael Nadal is from Mallorca. What everyone may not know is that Mallorca is ALSO home of the Rafa Nadal Sports Center, Tennis Academy, International School, Wellness Spa, Restaurant, Museum Experience and HOTEL. …
Learning to Speak
We’re spending the month at an Airbnb apartment in the pocket-sized northern town of Pollenca. Our landlord’s name is Jaume. The name Jaume is the Catalan version of “James”. It’s a popular name in Mallorca–ever since 1230 when King Jaume I “The Conqueror”, brought 15,000 soldiers and hundreds of cocky Knights of Templar to the …
New Terms
Sometime last snowy December, Guy paused in the kitchen and mentioned that he planned to spend the month of March riding his bike in Spain, on the island of Mallorca. A few beats later, he said that I could come, too, if I were so inclined. I thought about it. I sat in my pandemic …
Here
Not to ruin the suspense or anything, but I made it just fine to Hôtel le Relais de la Reine, a lovely hotel where Brett had scored me room about 30 minutes before. I was pretty frazzled (didja notice?) and I didn’t want to leave my phone in the taxi (I’ve done that twice already …
Getting in my Own Way
It has been mentioned that I have a gift for self-sabotage. See you if you can identify it in the following narrative: Yesterday I flew from Portland to San Francisco. In San Francisco, I bought a huge egg and sausage on a brioche sandwich for $10.50. Then I threw it away because it was making …
Finding Myself
I know a lot of adult women who stand up with square shoulders when life gets rocky. There’s Ramona, my neighbor who goes to meetings at the high school for me, pretending to be my boys’ real mother because I hate fucking meetings, not to mention leaving the house, listening to people talk, and showing …
Veracity
During our ten day China trip, we had three different guides in three different cities. Olivia was the first. You’ve met Oliva. Of all the guides, Olivia was the most fervent at finding western toilets. “Here!” she would say. “This one!” I didn’t have the heart to tell her the squat toilets are cleaner than …
Notes
A FEW NOTES: Dumplings are delicious for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The older and shorter a Chinese woman is, the harder she will shove you out of her way. This theory includes, but is not limited to, old women in wheelchairs. Every Chinese city is the “Best” at something. As are Chinese museums, roads, trains …
Olivia
Oliva collected us promptly on the morning of our first day. She bustled us down the alley and loaded us into our emperor’s van. This time she wore a long dark wool coat with a felted shapes on the back, mostly a rather menacing and undernourished Santa Claus-like figure holding a scroll that said …
Arrive
We landed in Beijing at 7:00 on Friday night, and even though I had sent the budget tour company the wrong arrival time, our guide met us anyway, a tiny young woman in the shouting airport throng, wearing a bright red hat and scarf and smiling a smile that took up most of her face. She …
ICEBOX PLUMS: Moments, sweet and cold 