Notes

00100lportrait_00100_burst20190330084314598_coverA FEW NOTES:

Dumplings are delicious for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The older and shorter a Chinese woman is, the harder she will shove you out of her way. This theory includes, but is not limited to, old women in wheelchairs.

Every Chinese city is the “Best” at something. As are Chinese museums, roads, trains and factories.

Population of China: 1, 418, 780, 398. Number of those people who can vote: 0.

Teenage Chinese girls like red-headed American boys and aren’t afraid to show it.

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666 is a lucky number, as is 999 and 8.

Talking about politics is illegal in China.

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So far this year I’ve met Bob Gimlin, the man who made that Bigfoot Video in 1967 AND the farmer who found in the Terra Cotta Warriors in Xi’an. What a year!

People keep giving us presents.

It’s hard to eat rice with chopsticks.

Americans learning Mahjong require lots of help from the old men in the mvimg_20190328_095352audience.

Bats are lucky animals, as are three legged frogs.

In Chinese museums there are in-tact pieces of pottery TEN times older than the United States. Who do we think we are?

The color red is good luck. Why did Trump ruin red hats for us?

Chinese bike riders are serene; they should be terrified. They must have super-powers…forcefields?

The Mormon Church’s relationship with China… Can anyone help me with this?

Empress Lu Zhi was the first woman to become Empress of China around 190 BC. After her husband died, she killed her husband’s favorite concubine, Qizi, by chopping off her hands and feet, scooping out her eyes, making her deaf and dumb and dumping her into a pigsty.

Yesterday we saw a woman walking her pet duck down the center of the marketplace.

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Chinese drivers can flip a U-turn whenever they damn well feel like it; no excuses or apologies required, unless they inconvenience an old Chinese woman.

Number of registered vehicles in China: over 300,000,000. Number of people in the US: 324,000,000.

Olivia is not the only guide afraid of ghosts. Our guide, Daisy, couldn’t sleep for 3 days after she watched the movie “The Sixth Sense”.

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Someday, I am going to stand on a crowded city street and shriek into my cellphone at my grandchildren. The volume and tone of my voice will imply that I am incensed, maybe even insane, but the words will be gentle: (Loud, angry voice): “Hello Darling! I hope you had a wonderful weekend! Looking forward to seeing you soon!” because that is what Chinese grandparents do and it is glorious.

If you can’t vote, is there any point in talking about politics?

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Dumplings are delicious for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

 

 

4 Replies to “Notes”

  1. I’m dying! I want to go there! I look like Elphaba I’m so green. Love, love your blog. Truth be told, I don’t think it’s just the red hair the girls like. The boys have become really quite handsome. Maybe I should join you so someone can keep an eye on them. Think?

    Like

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